by Renée "Orselina" Nicole Schwarz
This is probably Pagan blasphemy, but at times I dread the ubiquitous, "So what path do you follow?" First, rattle off words like, "Kemetic," "Netjer," or "Em Hotep" to any person on the street, and they'll glare at you as if you have three heads. They're not stupid by any means - these aren't commonly known words, even among some pagans.
Secondly, mention "Ancient Egyptian religion" to that same person and what images will likely come into mind? A person draped in gauzy, white linens and shining gold; perhaps a bitchin,' Tut-esque headdress? How about an altar spilling over with pyramids, feline & serpentine statuary, and postcards of Saharan sunsets? "Wish you were here, Imhotep. Wish you were here."
I am asking, for the remainder this essay, that you employ a suspension of disbelief, and just drop all of that imagery. Let's start from the beginning.
Ancient Egypt, and all of its lore was something very familiar to me growing up. My grandmother - who we Sicilians call "Mema" had a love affair with Egypt resulting in a houseful of touristy papyri art, personalized hieroglyph pendants, 101 books, scarab pendants, and even a Nefertiti bust.
One such curiosity that caught my eye was a papyrus of a woman, kneeling, large blue wings spread. Like all Egyptian art - in my opinion! - her sideways facing body was flat and posed; her face, plain and expressionless. But it was that wide expanse of blue wing that caught my attention. I figured out her name early, because Mema always referred to the piece as "my Isis." Her Isis - I could feel the warmth of this sentiment before I could even fully understand it.
Years later, a love of "mythology" and Ancient history led me to a course in college that presented pre-Abrahaimic religion from 'under a microscope,' so to speak. For the first time I was taught these ancient faiths not as a a collection of fables someone 'made up' and passed down. This would also be the return of "Isis" into my life. We learned about her worship, not just in Egypt, but in Greece, Rome, and with evidence of her influence as far as Britian and Russia! I wasn't "in the market," per se, for a new religion - I had already tried Christianity, Wicca, and Agnosticism, all to complete failure. But what started out as research for a fifteen page essay became an infatuaion. I couldn't stop reading about her. And where infatuaion ended, love picked up.
I primarily identified as Isis-centric in the beginning, eschewing the rest of the pantheon. Looking back, this is probably attributed my dis-connect with how I thought they "must have" appeared: stoic, cold, and looming, whereas Greco-Roman "Isis" was warm and motherly in her soft folds of sculpted fabric and assuring expression. (But more on this a bit later.)
Then one day, that, too passed. With no particular deity or force leading the way, the rest of the pantheon began to open up. It was as if Isis was bringing me home for dinner to "meet the family." From there, I returned to research with fervor. I discovered a world of Reconstructionism; of community; of Orthodoxy.
Joining the Kemetic Orthodoxy was one of the best moves I've ever made, even if it's not the exact path with which I identify today. It was here I learned the term "Netjer" - the collective name for all the gods & the singular divine force of this collective. I also learned the *proper* names for each 'Netjeru.' Osiris was acutally "Wesir." Thoth, "Djehuty." Hathor, "Hethert." And finally, Mama, I would know your real name. I may have met you as Isis, but from here to eternity, I would know you as "Aset!"
Following Aset, Sekhmet, the fiery, lionine warrior/healer goddess, would make herself known - and then some! - in my life, and become an amazing source of strength. Just recently Heru-sa-Aset (Horus the younger) has entered my life, as well.
A problem remained. I didn't exactly fit in with the Orthodoxy, either. Some of the rules, while understandble, just did not mesh with me. A "feminazi" such as myself could not abide to staying away from certain rituals during menstruation. And while I have the upmost respect and admiration for Ms. Siuda, the "Nisut" of the organization, hierarchy - and the concept of continuing Pharaoh-hood - just never meshed well with me. Again, no dis-respect. We just have to follow our ib (heart).
Finally, something I've been alluding to this entire essay: The aesthetic of Ancient Egypt does nothing for me. The traditional ritual garb of white linen never felt as good as a long green maxi and some colorful jewelry. Gold? meh. Traditional statues? I tried it.... and then I decided to make my own. Rather than the flat and static pyramid drawings, I fashioned them fleshy, earthy, colorful, and almost tribal. I've always said that my artwork is simply a conduit for my faith. After all, if I'm given a gift from Netjer, should I not honor them with it?
That is where I decided that being "just Kemetic" was good enough. All of my schooling, research, and studying in groups has been invaluable. But at the end of the day, my practice - my worship - had to come intstinctually. And like much else about me, it is completely unique.
Now that you know "how," here's a little bit of "what." So what exactly DO I practice? (and, again, I'm telling you what *I* believe - I do not represent any larger belief or organization.)
1) The concept of Ma'at. Apart from being an actual goddess, Ma'at is the idea that living a life that is FAIR, HONEST, and GENEROUS keeps your life in balance. To be cruel and deceitful weighs down your heart and results in "isfet" - the opposite of Ma'at. This is why, in the afterlife, your heart is weighed against a feather as a judge of your deeds in life.
2) Netjer as the many-in-one. Think of the Catholic trinity. Is it three or one? It's both. Same with Netjer. There are hundreds of gods, some syncretic (two or more gods "mixed together" to create another god altogether), but all part of one whole benevolent force.
3) The relationship & existance of Man and Netjer is co-dependant. We exist because Netjer created us. They were are first rulers, and taught us how to live, work, and love. But they exist because we believe in them. They exist for creation, and therefore cease to exist if creation turns its back on them. In this sense, we both keep each OTHER in balance.
There is so, so, so much more to it, but this essay is fast approaching the volume of "War and Peace." It's too late for "short & sweet," so let's end it at : if you have ANY questions, I will be more than glad to do my best to answer them!
Thank you so much for reading.
Senebty (good health) & Em Hotep (be in peace),
- Orselina (little bear).